The white wedding as we know it was originally a matter of fashion, performed by a minority of upper-crust society - following the examples of Queen Victoria's wedding and that of her daughter Princess Victoria. Even in the 21st century a wedding has become a very precisely defined set of notions about right and proper behaviour for men and women, and society at large.
A hundred years after
women got the vote, 30+ years after the groom no longer
gained conjugal rights (i.e. total rights over his
wife's body) on marriage, religious weddings and a
distressingly high proportion of celebrant-performed
weddings still include 'who gives this woman to be
married to this man' as opposed to asking both
sets of parents to give their blessing and support to
the marriage, still include matched sets along gender
lines for the bridal party, still incorporate a range of
traditions (really they are superstitions) to ensure
good luck and fertility or to fend off bad luck.
And have you noticed that
most wedding traditions/superstitions somehow revolve
around the bride, as if she's solely responsible for the
success of the marriage. All the groom has to do is show
up on the day (and provide financial support for the
family). That isn't the way it is nowadays!
In fact, in many weddings you wouldn't know you weren't back in the 19th century, except for one thing. The bride is no longer expected to look (and be) virginal. Now she is expected to look (and be) hot, an object of sexual desire.
But it doesn't have to be like that. Every stereotypical part of the wedding can be reconfigured to send a message of equality, of mutual regard, of mutual support. Talk to me about this aspect of your wedding. I've put a lot of time, thought, and effort, into ensuring that you marry in a ritual of equals
Wedding Ceremony Packages (downloadable summary of inclusions)